It's been about a year since I've been here. Real long time.. but that itch to write has resurfaced.
It's resurfaced because.. I don't feel comfortable talking to people anymore. The fact of the matter is that majority of the times, the people who are your 'friends' couldn't care less about the problems you're having.. they don't care if you want a shoulder to cry on or just somebody to talk to. Their problem isn't your problem.. so don't make it their problem. It's either their apathy or the fact that you can't TRUST anybody these days with your personal stuff.. that has discouraged me from talking to people. Vincentians love to talk, it's in our blood. You may think you're talking to someone who won't betray you, but believe you me.. In the same way you think they won't 'tell anyone', they have a friend who they are confident 'won't tell anyone' either, and your good friend's good friend is gonna know your personal goodies. So to be on the safe side.. get pen & paper (or blog) and sort your problems out on your own..
The thing is that I'm not like the people I just described.. as a matter of fact I'm all ears when it comes to my friends. I love encouraging people and giving advice... mostly I just like listening because I know how it is. I know what it's like to just want to scream to the top of your lungs.. and what it's like to just want somebody to hear your side of the story. But.. everybody isn't like me, everybody doesn't care as much. So I keep to myself. But keeping to myself is taking its toll on me.. so I have to write..
I was on a 'me' spree the other day, feeling comfortable in my skin and just loving myself.. being happy with me. But now I feel like.. *sigh* I don't even know how to put it lol.. Ok, have you ever felt like you are inconveniencing somebody? (Who am I kidding, as if somebody is reading this *rolls eyes*) ..like, you allow somebody into your life but they don't enjoy you the way you wish they would.. as if if they didn't have you they'd be able to do what they really wanna do to be happy, but because of you they can't do what they want..? I don't know if I'm making any sense.. but I know what I'm saying, & I feel like that right now. But at the same time I don't wanna make assumptions.. *sigh* I guess we'll see.
I believe this is the longest blog Ive written.. lol hmm.. & I might probably be back real soon..
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